What I like about working in the non-profit sector is that I feel that I'm making a difference in the world. I work for the office of Head Start. It's a program designed to help low-income households to help educate them and their preschool aged kids. As I am nearing my one year mark with this program, I have some observations that I would like to share:
1: Children have a really hard time being good kids, IF they are not taught how to be good.
I'm a believer that people in general are inherently good. I believe that we are all children of God and therefore, have the capacity to reflect his infinite goodness. However, knowing that this belief isn't proven by anything but a mere belief or faith in the idea, we have to be taught to behave in a way that represents good and wholesome behavior. For example, the principles of telling the truth, not hitting, to say please and thank you, to greet people when you meet... to name a few, is not inherent. Kids are just as good at doing the opposite of what they are told and imitating the good. It is my observation that kids mimic what they see, hear and experience in the confines of their environment, mainly their home. If shouting is commonplace at home, they communicate by shouting; it is commonplace
2: The cycle of abuse and derivatives of that sort of behavior, are perpetuated by lack of family structure.
I've meet plenty of people who have had the privilege to live in Washington D.C. who have shared horrendous stories of meeting generation after generation of people in the same household that have never held a job! They have only been supported by social welfare programs. The kids have a really hard battle up hill if they wish to break out of that behavior that has been wired into them that it is ok to live off of social welfare programs. The meanings of ambition, work ethic, work or the American dream is diminished to having kids, living off off stipends provided by the government with the intention of never getting off them. There is no incentive to get out of poverty. Then again, the child would never know that they live in such depraved conditions or phased by them because the basic needs are provided for.
The same can be said for more abrasive behavior, drug abuse, domestic violence, baby-mamas/daddy's lead to the child's development of believing that that sort of living is common and ok- a standard. As the child gets older, they don't know any better than to behave and relive the same life situations of their predecessors. They haven't been taught any other way.
3. Having a stable mom and dad in the home is crucial.
Men and women are similar but have many differences. Their genetic make-up, thinking patterns, physical, emotional and hormonal development all are very different and unique to moms and dads. A mom and dad teach their kids very different things about life inside the family and outside the family. My observations have seen that the dads teach their kids how to interact with people they are not related to. Moms teach their kids how to interact with people within their family/close influences. Of course, how the dad treats mom, reflects on how male kids treat female kids and vice versus. How mom treats dad is how the female kids treat male kids.
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My heart goes out to these kids. My heart goes out to all children. As census reports more and more kids being born out of wedlock, single parent families relying more on social welfare programs, education opportunities being more exclusive, the rise of teen parents and the attack on the idea of a family of a dad and a mom is putting the rising generations at risk. These kids will soon grow to be what they have only known from our lack of self-control and selfish behavior.
Being a parent isn't easy. No one is every truly ready to be a parent. But no one has ever truly benefited by just getting by or believing that we are never in need of a good overhaul of personal character and ethical behavior. Life is all about change and becoming a better you. But with society glorifying the acts of sexual promiscuity, liberal use of time, resources and talent for the satisfaction of an hour at most and thinking of only yourself frightens me.
My hope is that these kids will remember the love, tools and the feelings of propriety and respect that we showed them in our program. I firmly believe that feeling included, wanted and loved is the ultimate cure-all for all the major issues that face our society today. I am not a perfect person, nor am I a parent myself (My little girl sniffles is a feline), but I like to think that my efforts are making a difference. That brings me comfort.
