My Christmas Program pt. 5

9. I love being a member of the Church. I am the only member in my family, but I love it. At times, I get a little anxious about whether or not my family may come around, but then I am reminded of the scripture that says, Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. The 'Be Attitudes' are an amazing sermon from the Savior. It is all about becoming like Him! I love it. We are blessed when we try to act, behave and think like the Savior. He promises that we will receive mercy, peace and see His face! I believe that if I hold to my covenants no matter what, He'll keep His promises with me. I become clean through His grace. I become more like Him when I try my hardest. I feel the Saviors love when I try to Be like Him.

I hope that one day my family will be brought into the gospel either by me or by some miracle. I believe the scripture that says: "Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven." I know He loves me and loves my family. He'll come through, I know it.

- Phil -

10. When I got baptized so many years ago, I remember how nervous I felt getting ready for that day. My mom told me she was so proud of me. I remember getting dressed, all in white. The meeting was short and sweet. They sang the song, "I'm trying to be like Jesus." I looked out at my family while I walked into the pool of water, saw them smiling, my mom crying. Then I looked at my grandpa, who had the authority to baptize me. He raised his arm, said the prayer and dunked me under.
I remember thinking to myself, "Wow. I am actually going to be baptized just like the Savior did. Will there be a dove flying around when I come up out of the water?" There was no dove, but I do remember that feeling of the Spirit that filled my whole body!
I have had other sacred experiences since that time. They have often been when I've focused on just trying my best, that's all. I know the Savior loves me. I know that He answers prayers. I know He has provided a way for all of us to return by living the gospel and believing that all things will work for our good.

- Sandy -

END

My Christmas Program pt. 4

7. I am jealous of those who get revelation. I feel like all I get is silence. It is hard sometimes to believe that God would love me and yet remain silent. I have made it a personal goal to strive to hear God's voice and receive revelations. I have submerged myself in scripture study, lots of prayer, going to institute, serving, you name it, I have done it. Through all my effort, I didn't always think that I was getting much more of anything other than a few whisps of sensation of the spirit. It stayed this way for quite awhile. At times, I distracted myself with good works, school, work and dating. Then one day I had enough. I had it with trying to speak to Him and he wouldn't speak back. I went to bed angry and didn't sleep very well. Then some weeks later, at institute, we had a lesson on listening with spiritual ears and waiting on the Lord. We read Matt 7:24. It was the story of the man building a house upon the sand and a house upon a rock. The impression then came flooding into my mind. You can't build a house in one day or two... it can take months. It takes time to build a relationship with God where He can speak and I can listen. Now revelation comes easier, when I rely and feel after Him. It's still a struggle, but I have learned to be patient with myself and God. You can't build a celestial castle in a day, likewise you can't build a relationship with God in one day either, but you can wait for Him and He will come. He has come to me and He will come to you.

- John -

8. I remember Hermana Anderson was a pain. She woke up late, she didn't like to study with me, she was very lazy, to me. I was counseled by my Mission President to practice patience and pray for it. So I did. I was determined to have patience for Hermana Anderson if it killed me or not. Well, 3 transfers later, I found myself ready to strangler her in her sleep. I was confused and absolutely baffled by why I wasn't able to have patience with her. Everything she did, started to drive me up the wall. I cleaned the dishes, said the prayers, shared my food with her, spoke kindly to her all the time, held in my rage. One night, with my whits end, I pleaded with the Lord to have Him come through with His promises. He was silent. The next day, we went tracking and after 6 hours of blistering heat, rejections and getting unwanted cat calls, Hermana Anderson just stopped where she stood and sat down. I was trying so hard to always have a great attitude no matter what. When she just stood there and sat down, I had it with her. Right before I was about to give her a peace of my mind of how I felt like she was the biggest chain and ball around my neck, she said to me in tears, " Hermana Lopez, why are you so kind to me? How is it that you're so happy despite all the rejection and crappy stuff that has happened today? You never give up and you're so patient? How can you be like this, especially to me?" I realized then that I couldn't always recognize the blessings of the Lord, but they always come.

- Maria -

Continue to Pt. 5

My Christmas Program pt. 3

5. The Savior has been difficult for me to relate to. He's a man. He was born and lived 2000 years ago. He was perfect with a capital P. I have struggled how I could know what He is like and how I could even amount to try to be like him. A couple of months ago, I was inspired by a Sunday School class about the topic of service. I learned that when the Savior learned in his 30 days of fasting, he learned what was going to happen to Him. He learned that He was going to die a horrible death for all of us: those who had died, those who were living and all those who would live, like me. Instead of failing into a state of depression, He just ran into being a service to all. He healed the blind, the sick, the burdened, the sinners, the hypocrites, the unthankful, the faithful, the dead, EVERYONE. All He did was serve and love people, then He was killed by the very people He was trying to save. Since that 'Ah Ha' moment, I have tried to love people. I have prayed each day to be given an opportunity to lift a burden and be loving without a return. It is through this service, I've started to see "How to be like Jesus."

- Jackie -

6. I want to be a dad so bad. When I see my other siblings have families of their own, I get really anxious about starting a family. One time, I was called by one of my home teachee's to give him a blessing. I went and gave him a blessing. During the blessing, I was filled with the Spirit so strong, that I hardly remember the blessing I gave him. He was in tears, gave me a hug and thanked me for being worthy to give him a blessing. Leaving his home, I was filled with the Spirit. Several months later, I ran into him at the store. He pulled me aside and asked if we could talk. He told me that he was so thankful for me being willing to give him a blessing and being so kind to him all the time. He became silent and then said, with a quiver in his voice, "Mike, I was thinking of killing myself that night. I didn't want too, so I called you because that was the name that came to my mind to call. You answered and you came. You made me feel God's love for me. I am here today because of you."

I was overcome with emotion and hugged him. I know from that experience that we are always taken care of in the most amazing ways and that we are all family.

- Mike -

Continue to pt. 4

My Christmas Program pt. 2

3. I loved her so much when I married my Ex. I had dated her for 2 years. Yes, we had our problems, but I believed we could make it, that is what the Prophets advise us: love each other, repent and live by faith. So that is what I did. The moments leading up to my sealing to another eternal soul was unforgettable. That was the last moment I felt the light of God so strong again while I was with her. Six years later she divorced me. I remember sitting there with the signed papers thinking what could I have done? Didn't I love her with all my heart? I kept my end of the deal, why couldn't have God intervened? How could my eternal marriage, my world be ending with this signature and mine together on this piece of paper? My world came crashing down. It was destroyed.

I am still hurt. I am still in pain. Being single again is hard for me. The scripture that has always given me strength is this: 'And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them , and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes' and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.'  Revelations 21:3-4. I believe that there will be a day when there will always be peace. I believe God loves me and it will work out. I look forward to when I can look past my pain, betrayal and feeling abandoned and know that I did my part and the Savior will say to me, " Well done, thou good and faithful Servant." And He shall whisper in my ear as He embraces me, "I love you so much. You're home. Be at peace forever."                                                                     

 - Travis -

4. It's hard for me to be around people. I struggle with managing Anxiety and Depression. And some may know how, but I don't really manage it well. I think the anxiety and depression manage me more often. It's hard to have a mental health challenge and feel powerless over your body and mind. The emotions seem to swell in high energy with anxious thoughts of fear. Then they vortex down and crash on to me like a tidal wave. I lay there in my room, exhausted, hurt, weary, lonely and with no energy to do what needs to be done. I have begged the Lord to allow me to have a normal life. A life that isn't riddled with so much inner turmoil. I asked for a blessing from my dad and he gave me this counsel:

"Celia, the Lord knows the struggles you face. He knows how much your challenges have made it difficult to feel His love for you. Remember Celia that this life is for you to prepare and meet God. You were a great spirit that held true to your covenants and stood with the Savior to come here to this earth to work out your salvation and return home as the Savior is: perfect, full of grace and love. It is thru the atonement that all challenges are overcome. It is thru moving through hardship that we become pure, radiant and Celestial. Know, that the Lord hasn't left you and will continue to be there to lift you up."I look forward to the day when I am free from this battle. I don't expect this battle to end soon. But I have seen His power enlarge me, strengthen me and change my ability to forget myself and be happy. I know that I won't always have to face this huge challenge. I know it hard sometimes, but He helps me feel and believe that I will make it. I can do this! 

- Celia -

Continue to pt. 3

My Christmas Program 2017 pt 1

Dear Delysia,

I am so sorry for ignoring you. I haven't meant too. I don't have much of an excuse, other than I have chosen not to write you. But I have now. I promise that I'll do better. I need to write to you more often. I need solace in my thoughts and you always have helped me.

For Church, given that I'm the Choir director, I created a Christmas program. Usually the program consists of speaking and rehearsing the same story of the birth of the Savior. Normally, I am not opposed to that, but it has become to trite to me, that I felt like I needed to help others to really connect with the Savior. I feel like He is hard to relate too, given that he lived so long ago and He was perfect. No one has a standard to compare perfection too. So I gathered up testimonies of others of how they relate too Christ. Then I had the Choir learn some really great songs that really connect the listener to those testimonies. Not everyone can relate to the spoken word, but music can really strike a cord with people in a way that words do not. So here is the program, with Youtube videos of the songs that would go with it.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Read the testimonies.
2. Listen to the Songs

Above all, pray and feel the Spirit of Christmas and of Christ fill your heart!

* The names of the testimonies have been changed to protect privacy.
**************************************************************************

Mother has always been careful

To keep me from catching a sickness.

But one thing she hopes I come down with

Is a condition called “spirit of Christmas.”

Catching the spirit of Christmas

Is nothing like catching a cold.

It makes you feel warm

And new and transformed

And leaves your heart feeling like gold.

Catching the spirit of Christmas

Is the catchingest of all that goes ’round

During this season

When there’s no greater reason

To lift those whose heads hang down.

Catching the spirit of Christmas

Won’t leave you sick in your bed.

It’ll give you the zest

To start living your best

And love others as Jesus has said.

1. Doubt seems to come to me all the time. I often feel bombarded by feeling like no matter what I do, I'm never good enough. I try really hard to be the best person. I fall short a lot. I don't like to admit it, but I do. I am trying to feel the Saviors love for me when I put my energy and faith in believing that He does love me, that I'm worth it, that He will come when I need Him most. I sometimes doubt that He has come to me in my desperate nights of despair. But I cannot deny that He has come. He hasn't always come when I called, but He has always healed my broken heart time and time again. That is what keeps me going, He has always come to me and healed me.

- Charles-

2. I'm not always sure that God wants us always to believe all the time. I mean, there is no solid proof of anything in this life. Scientific communities of the greatest minds keep coming up with new discoveries in 2017. It seems really far fetched that there is absolute truth all the time. When I think of the story of the prophet Joseph Smith, it seems just that: far fetched. Yet, each time I read the Book of Mormon, every time I bow my head in a humble manner to speak to Him, when I strive to remain clean to commune with God at church and at the Temple, I can feel this power and peace that brings me back to my faith, my hope. When I try, I mean really try, my doubts disappear and I feel Him embrace me with love. I know he hears me and helps me. I have too.

- Sara-

Continue to pt. 2

My Baby Sniffles

Dear Delysia,

I am so sorry that I have neglected you. I haven't done it on purpose. But I have tried really hard not to be negative and dwell on the negative. I want to be better and I think I am becoming better.

I want to share with you some things that have been hard and some things that have been great about the past month or so.

First, my little girl Sniffles, passed away on Aug 31. I couldn't bring myself to write about it. It was too painful. Sniffles meant a lot to me and had spent her whole life in my care and the care of my mom and my family. I loved her. She was my baby. My step-dad texted me that day and said that he was going to put Sniffles down because she was sick and couldn't be helped. I generally don't listen to his point of view, so I called mom. She didn't answer and so I texted her and then called her again. When I called the second time, she answered and said that she had just finished putting my baby down and that there was nothing that they could have done for her. I just bawled over the phone. I bawled and bawled while mama was explaining to me what had happened.

Mama said that Sniffles was crying and mama called to her. She was at the bottom of the stairs and called to Sniffles but Sniffles didn't respond. She just stood there at the bottom of the stairs, with her head toward the floor and not moving. So mama went down and picked her up and noticed that there was blood coming out of her mouth. So mama took her to the vet. The vet said that her kidneys had failed and that her toxic levels were too high, and there was nothing that could be done. They said that her core temperature was 94 degrees, when it should be 100 degrees! Mom said that they wrapped her in a blanket that is made to keep her warm quick. Mama said she took her and held her like a baby and there was tears in her eyes. Mama said she was in so much pain. My step-dad wanted to take her home and let her die at home. Mama said that they were not going to do that and they were going to put my baby down. So Mama held my baby while they put her down. I cried and cried and cried and cried all day that day and night.

I told people that I was having an allergy attack to hide my feelings from people and listened to my favorite song for my baby kitties: Good Company: Oliver & Company. I told Traci about it and he helped me feel better about it. Mama buried my baby in her pet cemetery on her property.

Sniffles was a bridged gap for me. Mama got Sniffles during the time when I came back from my mission and was going to school and not really going back home. It was hard for me to go home, because of the fiasco of what happened with my sister and my step-dad. So mom bought Sniffles to bring me home. It worked. I came back home to love another baby kitty. My first yellow kitty, Molly passed from kidney failure too. Sniffles is what brought me home to be around my family more. It was so hard for me to come back to the house because it wasn't a place of love and safety, it was a place of lies, deceit and betrayal. Having a innocent life, like Sniffles really helped me want to come back home and heal and feel safe and ready to be around the family more. Having her pass has hurt my heart.

When I call my mom, I always mention my baby. On Sept 5, when I called my mom again, I was happy and towards the end of the call, I was about to ask how my baby was, but she wasn't there. She was gone. It was sad. It is still sad to write about it and relive those moments. I loved her. She was mine. She is one of the few things that was mine.

I miss my baby so much. I still talk to mama, but it's not the same. Sniffles was 12 years old.

Dear Seiko

Dear Delysia,

I have a friend that I adore. She is from Japan and I went to school with her. She is a bit older than me but you wouldn't know it by the way she looks and behaves. She is a wonder and a firecracker for a woman from Japan. She speaks her mind and gets straight to the point. All of those attributes I admire. But above all the ones that are naturally appealing to me, I admire her spiritual strength the most. She has it hard or at least has gone through hard things and has remained ever splendid. She was engaged once and then the guy broke it off and then decided to marry another person. Her heart was seriously broken. I remember seeing her and her fiance and Wal-Mart while I was with Tristy. She was so happy. She found out that her ring was from Wal-Mart because that is all he could afford, being a poor college student and coming from a family of small means. Yet, I remember how happy she was and so in love with the idea of being in love and taking care of a man.

I felt impressed to send her a note after she had written this to me:

"I am doing fine. My life has been pretty crazy lately but having fun.

I am sorry to hear that you are working a lot Are you enjoying working there though? I hope so!!!

I just wanted to let you know that I have a boyfriend now. He is not Korean nor Japanese. Crazy, huh? He is from Canada and is 21 years old… Do you know how old I am??? Lol A crazy thing like this happens sometimes, right? Hahaha

Anyways I just started to date him about 10 days ago, and he is now worried that he is not feeling the spirit if this is right thing to do or not… I am not sure why he even told me that he likes me and wants to date me then… haha All things happened pretty quick so he is maybe freaking out or something? I don’t know… I like him but not sure where this relationship is going to be end. I will wait and see for a couple of months I guess.

SO, I am still in the middle of craziness kind of but I just need to trust in God and go forward. When I am kind of confused and such, I always remember you and how wise you are to give me such wonderful advice. Miss you friend! Thank you for your great example of faith and be strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ."

My response:
Seiko,

I wanted to just say, it may seem hard and frustrating to be in the situations that we're in. I mean, I think that you are in a worse situation than I am. You're in your home country, where people don't like to accept compliments or the life is so busy, that you can't enjoy the beauty of being alive.

I put your name in the temple last Saturday and I wanted to share with you this idea that I've been thinking a lot about:

I'm not sure that being married and having a family is necessary for us to make it back. I mean, I think that being a mom/dad and having a spouse is grand, yet, it seems like it doesn't necessarily have to be a thing we need to be like Christ. The gospel of the Savior mentions very little about marriage. It talks about being kind, generous, loving, virtuous, lovely, bright and strong. I think that perhaps some of us can't really become Celestial without having to really rely on the Savior. Would we be so willing to look to Christ, if we were always looking to our spouse or our children? Probably not. I feel like since we are single, it is a great time for us to really become well acquainted with God and His Son.

In my mind, to know the Heavens, to hear His Voice, to See His Hands, to have His Spirit fill our cup to overflow to a brilliant light of Celestial glory is what we all want, yet how we obtain it is different for all. I like that, because we are single, we are on a fast track to see the powers of God manifest more visibly and brightly before our face.

I admire your strength and I admire your ability to see things as they really are. I would suggest that you really reach to be able to see God, for Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see His Face! I am working on that right now, with Temple attendance, fasting, prayer and service. I believe that you'll find marriage, but I also feel you'll be able to to have both blessings in this life.

May it be that you'll never lose hope and always be sensitive the warmth of our God and His presence and that others will see it in you too... for I have, and will continue to see it in you from all the way from the USA.




************************************



She didn't respond, but I hope she felt strength and peace because of it.