My Christmas Program pt. 2

3. I loved her so much when I married my Ex. I had dated her for 2 years. Yes, we had our problems, but I believed we could make it, that is what the Prophets advise us: love each other, repent and live by faith. So that is what I did. The moments leading up to my sealing to another eternal soul was unforgettable. That was the last moment I felt the light of God so strong again while I was with her. Six years later she divorced me. I remember sitting there with the signed papers thinking what could I have done? Didn't I love her with all my heart? I kept my end of the deal, why couldn't have God intervened? How could my eternal marriage, my world be ending with this signature and mine together on this piece of paper? My world came crashing down. It was destroyed.

I am still hurt. I am still in pain. Being single again is hard for me. The scripture that has always given me strength is this: 'And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them , and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes' and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.'  Revelations 21:3-4. I believe that there will be a day when there will always be peace. I believe God loves me and it will work out. I look forward to when I can look past my pain, betrayal and feeling abandoned and know that I did my part and the Savior will say to me, " Well done, thou good and faithful Servant." And He shall whisper in my ear as He embraces me, "I love you so much. You're home. Be at peace forever."                                                                     

 - Travis -

4. It's hard for me to be around people. I struggle with managing Anxiety and Depression. And some may know how, but I don't really manage it well. I think the anxiety and depression manage me more often. It's hard to have a mental health challenge and feel powerless over your body and mind. The emotions seem to swell in high energy with anxious thoughts of fear. Then they vortex down and crash on to me like a tidal wave. I lay there in my room, exhausted, hurt, weary, lonely and with no energy to do what needs to be done. I have begged the Lord to allow me to have a normal life. A life that isn't riddled with so much inner turmoil. I asked for a blessing from my dad and he gave me this counsel:

"Celia, the Lord knows the struggles you face. He knows how much your challenges have made it difficult to feel His love for you. Remember Celia that this life is for you to prepare and meet God. You were a great spirit that held true to your covenants and stood with the Savior to come here to this earth to work out your salvation and return home as the Savior is: perfect, full of grace and love. It is thru the atonement that all challenges are overcome. It is thru moving through hardship that we become pure, radiant and Celestial. Know, that the Lord hasn't left you and will continue to be there to lift you up."I look forward to the day when I am free from this battle. I don't expect this battle to end soon. But I have seen His power enlarge me, strengthen me and change my ability to forget myself and be happy. I know that I won't always have to face this huge challenge. I know it hard sometimes, but He helps me feel and believe that I will make it. I can do this! 

- Celia -

Continue to pt. 3