Sunday

Dear Delysia,

Last night was a really good day considering. I have been in a rut really. I have been sinking down to more of a doable lifestyle with the church. Though mostly, I’ve not been doing all that I could do, because it is a lot. I grow tired of doing the same thing over and over and not seeing results. I think that this is something that I should get better at. I know that change doesn’t happen quickly, it happens slowly. I hate that too.

So church; there is a guy named Jared Maruji that I wanted to be friends with. I wanted to be friends with him because he was friends with a really good friend of mine: Seiko. She has good taste in friends, so I was excited to meet and be his friend. Long story short, he and I are not really friends. Friendship is not what he wants, he has plenty of those, he wants a wife. I was also really stupid in serving and being nice to him: I made him workout shorts, I gave him potions for when he was sick. I realized that that was too much and that he wasn’t really interested in being friends or make friends. I get it. Most guys take my kindness as flirting and I think my kindness was too much for him. Anyway, I ignored him and he spoke with a couple of people and said that he thought that I didn’t like him. His assumptions about me was true, I don’t like him.

So, in Priesthood, we were talking about home teaching and we read an experience with Elder Hollands’ talk about home teaching and how the home teachers didn’t stay and help clean up a mess, they just left. I rose my hand and said that I went to visit Jared Maruji while he was sick and he didn’t want me too, but I did get him potions anyway. But I impersonated his voice as an Asian that can’t speak English well. LOL… Then Jared raised his hand and said that he spoke to me just like I said. I sent Jared a text later that day, to tell him thank you for letting me tease him. He responded back by saying that he really thought that I was a great example for service and that I could teach the ward a lot of good things about it. I told him that I was blushing and explained that I respected him and thought that he was a good man. I shared with him that he was one of the few men that I respected in the ward. He really thought that that statement was the nicest compliment he’s received in a long time. He shared with me that he respected me as well.

I also spoke with Thomas and his experience with trying to date this girl Kristen. She is resistant to his kindness and affection because she’s used to dating awful, spiritually weak men. However, Tom is a strong man of faith. I adore him because he’s so adorable. She’s dumb and Tom is so sweet. … sigh… sometimes I wish Tom would look at me and be attracted. Sometimes I didn’t have to listen to people talk about their relationship problems. That is pretty much all people like to do. Sometimes I am strong, other times, I yearn. The good thing though is that people do regard me as a blessing. I suppose my reputation is like my mom. She was regarded but never really engaged.