Time Slipping By

Dear Delysia,

I feel like I'm slipping again with trying to keep up with life and what i going on with me. Though, the times when I think that I have have time to catch up with you, I just don't make time. I am sorry Delysia.

Some of the interesting things that have been happening with my life is, when I've been talking to Traci, we've gotten into a lot of different fights here and there. Yet I've felt very comfortable and at peace when I've gotten in those fights. He and I see things and life very different, as you know. But I've been very satisfied when I've been able to say things that I really feel and may have been mean, but that is what I've really felt. What has been really cool, is that when we fight, when been able to overcome the disagreements. We are able to work through the ugly, hurt feelings and come out of the conversation feeling a lot better. We've also decided to always leave our conversations with positive things. So we never end our conversations with sad, negative things, we leave each other with happy news.

The most recent fight that we had was today. Though, I told Traci that I don't like it when he says things that equalize the situation of his life and mine. I also made a point that his suggestions for me are not satisfactory for him, so why must they be satisfactory for me? He can date, marry, have a family. That is what the church talks about all the time; that and the atonement of the Savior. I was able to lead him to the conclusion that his answers for me to find peace and happiness are not the answers for me because he doesn't gravitate to them, so why should I have too? It shut him up more about him trying to tell me that things will work out if I just do X, Y, Z. Even though it was sort of a harsh conversation, it ended really good at the end.

I will miss him a lot. He brings me a sense of peace, stability, happiness and I rely on him. I will miss him a lot when he's dating again and working like a mad person when he gets his business working. He won't have time and the time he does have, it will be for his girlfriend, who will become his wife. I love him.