Feb 28, 2017

Dear Delysia,

So I have been trying really hard to things together better. I have been trying to understand the nature of God and His love. I've told you that I haven't really believed that God loves me. I think that he loves everyone very differently. He doesn't really treat us all the same.

I spoke with my Stake President, my Bishop, my Mission President and the orchids. I've come to the conclusion of a couple of things. I feel the spirit really easy. I don't really have to try hard to feel it. Because I do feel the Spirit so easily, that is probably a manifestation that God loves me. My Mission President said that there are three ways that he knows where you kind find out if God loves you:

1: When we try and serve Him by serving others with the best intentions.

2: When we pray for forgiveness and feel that He had forgiven us.

3: When we go to the Temple seeking peace and feel it.

I have felt those three things just recently. I am really service oriented. Though at times, I have been really hesitant. People don't know how to respond to kindness very well. I have prayed for forgiveness for my rebellious behavior and have tried to not be so resistant to the Spirit. And I always feel the peace of the Temple when I go. So with all that, I feel like I've known what God's love feels like, I've just not recognized that it is His love for me. I've only seen it as just warm fuzzies because I've asked for assistance and the help came in different ways.

I'm starting to realize that God has shown love for me, but I've not been in a place to recognize it. I feel like I am recognizing it better. That makes me happy.