May 25

Cory,

Today, I went to lunch with Reid. Reid is the one guy that I told you that I have become pretty chummy chummy with. He was the kid that first that came to church and I was not all that impressed with. He came with a leather jacket on, some rough looking clothes and just looked ratty. He also said some things in Sunday School and in the other classes that I didn’t like. He seemed very rebellious and had a chip on his shoulder on the things regarding the church. Then I had met him a couple more times at social events and at ward events. I wasn’t really all that impressed nor was I really interested in getting to know him. It was apparent that he was a little bit taken back with me. He told me later that he was a little intimidated with me and my behavior. He said that I was a little too mysterious. Now, he doesn’t think that and I think of him as a good guy. He started inviting me to  go with him to chat and get soda from the gas station. I just went along to just enjoy his company.

I don’t remember how we really got to know each other. I think I’ve told you that I enjoyed him until he changed trying to date my cousin Boo Boo Kitty. I was bothered a lot because he transformed into a far better person because he was trying to date Boo Boo Kitty. I was thinking why he could always be this kind and loving to everyone. Why is he only like this, when he’s trying to snatch a woman? Why is he like this to satisfy his own needs?

It was then I decided that I didn’t really like him. Which, was very fair for me to do. I did it anyway. I mean, he told Boo Boo Kitty that I was really critical of the girls that he introduced me with. But he felt like I was being very critical of him when he started dating Boo Boo Kitty. He was right, I was being critical of him because of her.

Anyway, when he got his dream job, I celebrated with him. We went out to eat and I paid for all of it. We ate carbs and enjoyed all of it. I gave him advice, invited him over to meet my friends, have tea, eat food, we chilled a couple of times. Though most of the time, we just chatted about his hopes and dreams and I talked about my puppies! Giggles.

It was sort of funny, Reid doesn't actually like you. He's intimidated by you. I think I have told you that.

 Anyway, he has been really wanting to hang out before he leaves on Friday morning. Today we chatted about him resolving hurt feelings with this girl in our ward that he was really into and they were close friends and they drifted apart. Then after him sharing with me about his hopes and dreams with dating and his life, I asked if I could do anything for him. He said, ‘Yes, I want you to never leave me. I want you to always be in my life.” I was really shocked by this request. I told him, yeah, I can stay in your life. He then said that he knew that he wasn’t one of the 7, so he didn’t expect me to be as present or put in a lot of effort, but he wanted me to always be in his life. He didn’t want to lose me. I was set back by this request. I didn’t think I was a worthy friend for him. I had resisted him and was very loyal to him. I helped him and supported him, but I wasn’t really all that invested. I feel really bad that he has cared for me more than I have ever known. I don’t know when men care for me. I don’t know how men show love really?! I feel like I need to repent for my lack of loyalty to him. He has always been loyal to me, more than I have noticed. I haven’t noticed it and I feel awful for it.

Then he told me about his spiritual gift. He found it on his mission. What he can do, I cannot say… but I can say that he has felt the Spirit of Satan. He told me about his experiences with that and how on his mission, a general authority had been there to tell him how to cope and what needed to be done to keep himself save. Reid asked the General Authority why he was experiencing these things. The response was, Reid will be responsible for destroying a lot of the works of the evil one in this life. If the evil one can ruin Reid, then he has won a battle in the future that he will not win. Then Reid said to me, that he felt like I was supposed to meet me so that he could help me. I asked what he saw for me? I asked what I should know. He said that I should believe that when the time comes, that he will be there to protect me from the evil one. I told him that I was afraid that I wasn’t ready. I felt like I was hidden from the world. I felt like I was hidden from evil influences, but I felt like the time was coming soon that I would not be hidden from the world for very much longer. Reid told me that he and I were meant to meet, so that he could help me with the onslaught that will come to me in the future. I started crying. I told him that I’m not ready. Reid reassured me that he was supposed to me meet me and I was supposed to meet him. He felt like he is meant to keep me close, so that he can protect me from the danger that is coming to me. He then promised that he would protect me and keep me safe. I then told him that I knew what the spirit of the evil one felt like. I had felt it twice.

Cory, I am afraid. All that he shared with me, I felt the Spirit. There is a collector, but I’m not sure what form that collector will take place in. I need to be far more pure and radiant than I have been in a long time. I have to go to the Temple every week. I need to be better and hone my gifts. I have to obey with all my heart and soul. I need to study and stay close to the Lord with all my heart. The dangers that are coming for me, ‘if it were possible, even the very elect would fall.’ I am afraid that I am not ready for the onslaught that is coming.

I need to pray and visit with God on this in the Temple.