The Puppy pt. 4

Dear Delysia,

I've shared with you how I met Traci, via my posts marked as The Puppy, part 2, and part 3. We started our relationship with having him get his blessings that he received. He was told that he would have another opportunity to date Danielle again. God gave him that promise and I just confirmed it. In Aug of 2015, Traci was really impressed that she would come then and by June 2016. I went to Cali in Aug with Cory Beth to visit and to share with Danielle about how I had become best friends with Traci.

I went and met up with Danielle. I stayed with her and her boyfriend. We met at the temple and I confessed to her that Trevor and I had been talking since May. I also shared with her about what I had decided to live as a nun and how Trevor had helped me get back to the Temple because he talked about it all the time. I cried a lot and she cried as well. She told me about what had happened when her and Trevor broke up. She asked me why I told her that she shouldn't break up with him because, "He'd be really good for both of us." She said that when she went to on a date with Austin, he was really pushy, and seductive. She slept with him on the third date. She told me that God didn't protect her. She said, that she had served in the Temple the day before she slept with Austin. We cried a lot and shared a lot of what was on our mind. I know Danielle was really hurt that I had become really good friend with her Ex. Though, she didn't really express it that much. She was happy that Trevor had someone to help him through his loss. There was a moment where she was soft and willing to feel the spirit and then her pride came back. We hugged each other on the steps of the Temple of Santa Monica and I left to spend the rest of my time with Trevor and Cory Beth.

The whole time that I was with Traci, Cory Beth and 80, I was completely distracted. I knew that J needed to make up her mind to leave Austin, but the likelihood of her doing it was slim. As I lay on Traci's spare bed and watched him interact with 80, he was so happy. He was so attentive to her and her needs. He then would look my way and see that I was distracted and he'd come over to my side and whisper in my ear while we all watched T.V. That is when I learned that Traci has no sense of personal space. His hair and his nose was touching my face as he spoke into my ear. I thought it was a little weird, but realized that it was just his thing, so I let it go. We spoke about my fears and concerns. What was really concerning me was if he could face the drama of J coming back after he's found so much comfort and love with 80 coming into his life. The thing that hurt me the most was, as much as I could feel the confirmation that J could/would come back and want to date Traci, what I could see was that she was likely not to make the choice, even though, she could have. I couldn't tell Traci that either.

Then the next time, Traci felt like Danielle would come back in June. I felt it really powerfully, the confirmation that she would come back. Traci would see his sign on his way home or to Lake Powell. She didn't come. Traci and I were really emotional on the 30th. He was more together than I was. He felt peace and calm about it. He had pretty much killed most of his feelings towards her. He did receive a feeling that God's promises are sure and true. He was told that J would come back a couple of times. He thought that he might end up with 80 and her health would fail her and J would come back then, much later in life. He also thought that she might come by when he's just about to get married or when he was married right after.

It is interesting. Traci was told by the Lord that He was pleased that Traci has resisted the temptation to complain and murmur about this. His logical side would say that the Lord has lied, but his heart would tell him that He didn't lie.

I am so impressed and very proud of Traci. He is strong. He is stronger than me, but he doesn't know it yet. I feel like I'm fading, but he has held strong. :*)

I need to be better and be more faithful and consistent as he is.

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