For the past couple of days, I have been really trying my hardest to be a good person. I haven't been the best person that I could be. I have been whiny, I have been trying to get out of the responsibility of my actions, I have been unwilling to overcome challenges, I have been very justice oriented and not mercy oriented. I am really sad about telling Cory Beth that I feel like I need to take a break. He is a good man. Though, the reasoning is so that I can not feel like a crazy person with him and get back to where I used to be, full of faith and kindness.
It is funny, I learn from Psalms 34:19:
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."
Is it any wonder that as a child of God, that the good ones must face challenges to be like our Father in Heaven? I have learned that challenges are a part of what life is all about. I have been praying that these challenges be removed. I have overcome some really cool things that have been really hard, yet I do not really feel all that accomplished. I have discovered that I believe that I have done it all on my own. The truth is, I haven't. I have been given help and it wouldn't have been so ugly if I had relied on God more for his help.
So, I need to start praying with faith. I need to start reading my scriptures with the intent to learn. I need to be worthy to go to the Temple. I also need to do all the things that I have committed to do with a good attitude. I feel like focusing on my consistency on the things of a Spiritual nature, that all things will fall into place and the things that I don't have any room for will fall away. I have also been reminded that as the time comes closer and closer to the coming of the Savior, relief from our challenges will become less and less. The only relief that seems to always come, is going to the Temple and find the peace, the assurance that things will work out, that you will be taken care of. Isn't that what faith is? Believing in things that are not seen, but are true, that is the definition of what faith means to me. I need more of that.
I should start looking at the things that God asks me to face is really a way that He shows me that He loves me. I know, that seems a little crazed, however it is what makes me feel peace when I write this down to you. I feel a lot of peace trying to get back on track. I should expect challenges. I should also expect to be able to overcome any challenge. I should expect to feel pain, cheated, sad, lost and perplexed. I should also know that the challenge will fade and that I need to ask for strength each and everyday to make it through the day.
I feel like I am getting better to center. I feel like I used to be when I was seeing things beyond the veil. I feel like my sight is getting more clear. I feel comfort that I have come to this place right now.
I am very grateful for the Lord, the gifts He's given me and that I have been protected and given the ability to feel His presence far more easily than most.
Thank you Delysia for listening to me. I love you!
So, I need to start praying with faith. I need to start reading my scriptures with the intent to learn. I need to be worthy to go to the Temple. I also need to do all the things that I have committed to do with a good attitude. I feel like focusing on my consistency on the things of a Spiritual nature, that all things will fall into place and the things that I don't have any room for will fall away. I have also been reminded that as the time comes closer and closer to the coming of the Savior, relief from our challenges will become less and less. The only relief that seems to always come, is going to the Temple and find the peace, the assurance that things will work out, that you will be taken care of. Isn't that what faith is? Believing in things that are not seen, but are true, that is the definition of what faith means to me. I need more of that.
I should start looking at the things that God asks me to face is really a way that He shows me that He loves me. I know, that seems a little crazed, however it is what makes me feel peace when I write this down to you. I feel a lot of peace trying to get back on track. I should expect challenges. I should also expect to be able to overcome any challenge. I should expect to feel pain, cheated, sad, lost and perplexed. I should also know that the challenge will fade and that I need to ask for strength each and everyday to make it through the day.
I feel like I am getting better to center. I feel like I used to be when I was seeing things beyond the veil. I feel like my sight is getting more clear. I feel comfort that I have come to this place right now.
I am very grateful for the Lord, the gifts He's given me and that I have been protected and given the ability to feel His presence far more easily than most.
Thank you Delysia for listening to me. I love you!
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