The Day I was Born

Dear Delysia,

Today was the day I was born! Hurrah!! Happy Birthday to me! I have still been feeling sick. I didn't go to work today, so I could just feel my oats and enjoy the day while I still could.

Delysia, I am really sorry for being so sad and depressing all the time. I think that I am too much of a debbie downer. I am trying really hard to be up beat and positive. I don't want you to think that I'm not able to feel happiness. I am working on training my eyes to see the good and not the bad.

Today, I laid in bed and talked to my mama, my sister and Traci. Mama told me that she loved me and asked me about Cory Beth. I told her more about his life situation and his tendencies to date monster women. She was a little concerned, but was relieved to know that he is in a better place in life. She then asked when he was going to get married. I told her that I didn't know, but that he's getting to a place where he could get married and be a good husband. She laughed and expressed hope that Cory Beth will find a good companion. She also expressed that I would find a companion as well. She didn't want me to turn into her brother, Uncle Lafe. She said that Lafe gets really jealous when us kids come around and he regrets not being willing to make a marriage and family work.
I chuckled about this idea with my mom. She doesn't realize that I am not like her brother. I am far more willing to be of service than he ever has been in his life. Though, I feel like sometimes, she has a point. I don't want to be old and bitter like Lafe.

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I have decided that birthdays don't really mean anything. I think as you get older, all human beings yearn for the deep interconnection of one soul to the other. I was not feeling well, so I called into work to get more rest.

I reached out to a friend of mine, Stephen and said that we should go get lunch. A friend of ours invited herself to our lunch as well. I wasn't really too keen on this, though I imagine that Stephen has grown tired of my real thoughts. It's funny, Stephen is a very articulate and thoughtful guy. I enjoy his perspective a lot. He's wonderful. I love him I have shared that with him. He has freely expressed that with me too. Though, it is hard to relate with one another on some basic levels. He is somewhat jaded by a relationship where he was once in love. The other friend that came, swooped in and took his attention from me. She was supposed to be the chaperone. I ended up turning into the chaperone. I was really mad about this. I truthfully, just wanted to feel like it was just him and I in the world. I just wanted to connect with him and not have other distractions. Though, how could I stand in the way of those two. The chemistry was undeniable. I sat there for about 35 mins and listened to those two drone on about camping, relationships, love, love interests and the chemistry boiling over. I finally had enough and interjected in the conversation. I asked Becky when the next time she could hang out with Stephen again. She gave me a sharp look as if to say, I can't believe you asked me out for Stephen. I gave her the look back of, Yes, I just called you out on your behavior. Ugh, I am still really upset about that whole situation. I feel robbed from a moment that I wanted with Stephen.... I suppose it was for the best. No, I don't have a crush on him. I just wanted to feel special. Yet again, my story comes to a halt and theirs continues on. Mine always ends.

Then I went to work. I spoke with Traci for quite a bit of the day. He's too good to me. I feel so ungrateful and so undeserving of his friendship. He's a blessing to me and yet, I don't always believe that he's real. He was so sweet to me. I was falling a part for a moment and he asked what he could do. So I asked him to give me a bed time story. Traci is so good at stories! So he wrote me for about an hour about a story that he fabricated. I felt so wonderful! I could imagine all the characters. The story was interactive and wonderful. I usually ask to hear about Prince Guinea Pig. Trevor is kind enough to work with my demands.

Boo Boo Kitty was sort of upset that she didn't know about my birthday and came over to work and gave me a creme brule and pineapple jelly bellies! She brought them to work and we chatted. She is too good to me too. She said that birthdays are her thing and she wanted to plan a big thing. I don't want big things. I just want to spend time with people and enjoy their company... and feel special for a moment. I adore BBK so much. She has been such a good friend to me... and cousin. She is so willing to go out of her way to be supportive and loving. I feel like her kindness almost that of Traci?!... I am so blessed to have both in my life right now!

I spoke with mama. She was happy that I was born. She hoped that I could find someone to love and marry as I worry about Traci and Cory Beth finding someone to love and marry. I should find the courage to tell her about my pineapple ways. Mama did crack jokes about Sniffles though. She said that Sniffles belly was swinging back and forth and it tipped her over. Because of her belly, she is tired and is sleeping. hahahahaha
Mama is soo funny. I told mama that she shouldn't say those things so loud. Sniffles is sensitive and will binge eat her feelings. Mom responded in a whisper, 'She's a fatty.' HAHAHAHAHAHa... I love my mom.

I got a really funny voicemail from Alexis, calling me a slut because she wasn't with me having fun. LOL... she's great! Cory Beth texted me. 10% of my Facebook friends sent me messages. I received a lot of calls and texts from various people.