Yesterday, I had a great afternoon with my Cousin, Boo Boo Kitty. She had called me the night before and I cried and cried to her about my melt downs with my life situations. So yesterday she asked me to see her at her home and eat delicious food.
Boo Boo made this sausage, cabbage, roasted pear dish! She shared with me that her sister, Tamara had left for Wales for her masters program. She started crying and said that she felt hatred towards her sister. Tamara has a hard time being kind or considerate of others feelings. She is a bully very often to others and can do no wrong, under the guise of being 'self-expressive'. Boo Boo then talked about this guy she went on a date with. He's tall, handsome, muscular and didn't have much interest in education because he picks things up pretty well. She showed me a picture of him. He was handsome. She said that he wasn't really impressed with the idea that he didn't have much emphasis on education. She also said that he wasn't very charismatic. I thought that was interesting, given that she described him as being a 'bro' type guy. That is probably a good thing for the guy.
Boo Boo and I made a deal, where if I didn't have a DTR with Cory Beth for a week, that she would take me to Communal for dessert. So I won and asked her to pay up. So we went to that restaurant and we ate butterscotch pudding. It was really good! During that time, I told her the boundaries I put on my relationship with Traci and accepting my relationship with Cory Beth. I shared with her that Cory Beth said that he wanted me to be more interested in his life with girls and dating. Yet at the same breath, he said that he was very uncomfortable because he felt like hypocrite. He wanted me to be more interested in his life but wasn't really interested in mine. He didn't say if he would try to be, yet why would I ask for him to try to be interested in my life? As a friend, I feel like you naturally do that. So I shared with Boo Boo that I want is to feel like I am a priority, that I matter. I feel like Cory Beth treats our friendship like scraps. He'll talk to me when he's got nothing else to do or isn't bothered by other things. He gives me the scraps of his time. When it's convenient, he'll give the left overs to me. I have sacrificed all that I have to be a good friend to him, be supportive and just be a good friend because that is what friends do: you love your friends. Boo Boo said then that it was really hard to be in relationship where one loves more than the other. She said that she was sorry that I was the one that loved more than him. She also said that she really was disgusted with Cory for saying what he did about not being interested in my life, but he wanted more from me in his life.
We then went on a hike and talked more about Boo Boo leaving to live in SLC. She doesn't have a support system up there. She wants to get a calling that will really push her to be active with the ward. She also told me that in October that she'll revisit her relationship with Reid. I was really excited for that! I see that her relationship with him isn't over. What that means in the future? I don't really know, but I do know that their relationship isn't done.
I love Boo Boo Kitty! She brings me a lot of peace! I am so happy that she is my friend! She brings me such peace. She told me that she is a grounding force to my crazy! HAHAHAA... she likes to kill the fantasy sometimes! giggles... but it's important that she does that.
I am happy Delysia. I am really happy that I was able to just be myself and release all my crazy. Boo Boo says I should go back to therapy, so I am going back. I am an ocean of crazy and I should probably go back and get my ocean to stay calm. Though, sharing how I feel about stuff, really helps me.
Love you Delysia!
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